//I feel like my commentary is ignored by the compiler.

Thanks to Casey for this link.
It's a collection of some of the most memorable comments found in software code.
For those that don't know what that is, you can insert comments into your computer program by prepending your comment text with some predefined characters, such as "#" for shell scripting or "//" for C and Java programming languages.
Text that begins with such character strings will be ignored when your code is run or compiled into an executable.
Comments help future programmers who might need to maintain your work by either explaining what your code is supposed to do, assumptions you've made, why certain functions are necessary, temporary workarounds, etc.
For the programmers themselves, commenting also allows an outlet for some imagined social connection or pent up cynicism, creativity, and humor.

Like this:
//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 32
//

and this:
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who
// will have to support me and our three children and the dog
// once it gets released into the public.

and also this:
doRun.run(); // ... "a doo run run".

and finally, my favorite, which I might use in my own work to prevent other engineers from changing my code in some misplaced fit of "I bet I can do this better...":
// The following is autogenerated, do not edit.
// All changes will be undone.

SJFU

Disclaimer: no photos. No (HD) videos. No links. Just me. Being pissed. I dare you to finish it.

A lot of people question their purpose in life. When those questions return "useless", "invalid", or something along the lines of "are you fucking kidding me?", they might be inclined to consider reevaluating their occupation, pass times, hobbies, addictions, or general consumption of oxygen.
That is, unless they are part of the SJSU administrative staff.

I might be taking advantage of my employer's willingness to purchase an M.S. degree for me, but at least I do so with a clean conscience.
I am getting a piece of paper and they're getting an employee with increased knowledge, skills, and some drive...allegedly.
In reality, I picked the campus that would send me a bill within Actel's yearly reimbursement limit.
I was nudged to go somewhere with more prestige, endorsed by a couple awesome faculty members at UCSD, but I really just wanted to make some money and step away from academia for a CA minute (oooh-ooh-oooooooh, everything won't change).
SJSU and Actel fit the bill.
If I get an A or B, tuition is 100% reimbursed.
A C, 50%.
A D, nothing percent - and I can only imagine, a bump up the "Who can we afford to lay off this quarter?" list.
So alright, I go to class some nights, I might leave work a bit early, but as anyone who has ever had to work from home knows, you tend to put in more than enough hours from the desk in your bedroom to counter leaving early to head to class.
In short, I have no problem with this arrangement, nor should Actel.

How can the SJSU staff cash their paychecks with a similar peace of mind when their unofficial motto is "Yes, we are incompetent. But we are training California's workforce to be pro-active, attentive, and distrusting of all others they might have to rely on...so we're still doing our job."?
I went to orientation for the College of Science and had some obese curly-haired cat in a Che Guevara T-shirt explain to me that they would without a doubt send me to the wrong corner of campus, only to be sent back, then told I need to speak to someone in another department who would without hesitation roll their eyes at me and tell me to print out a different form, sign it, and sprinkle pixie dust on it before anyone would even consider telling me to bring it to the people that actually use it...on the other side of campus.
I chuckled at orientation, thinking they're just covering their own asses for kids that are too dumb to read instructions.
Nope.

I am so sorry, but I am not able to locate your graduation application anywhere at this point. Unfortunately, it will be necessary for you to submit a new application.

Again, I am so sorry that I am not able to locate your application Scott. I will do everything I can to support you in the process, but it is imperative that you get the application in as soon as possible. It is not necessary for you to meet with an advisor again.

So - this doesn't really matter much. I'm not planning to walk. Getting my B.S. in C.S. is just a necessary step for obtaining the M.S.
If my B.S. piece of paper is delayed, who really cares?
I'm just doing this to make more money, which conveniently occupies those years I'd already be spending at a company to get experience and thus...make more money.
I printed out what was necessary and brought it over to campus.
This exchange, however, stung:

"Hi Scott. Thanks so much for bringing in this form promptly."
"No problem. I guess it's only fair that I come to the student service center more than once while paying for its existence." (The first time being the glamor photo shoot for my ID card, allowing me to return a book.)
"Well, I'm sorry we have to go through this process again. When did you turn in the form and go over your academic career before?"
"Last semester, with Hyang, Hyun, or Hyawn? Sorry, I don't remember his name, he seemed helpful though."
"Oh, with Hwon, last semester. That was before we started tracking these things."
"I'm sorry, isn't your department's entire charter to track 'these things'? [It's a bit disconcerting that tracking paperwork was beyond your stretch of competence until just last semester, Fall of 2009...]"

[Those words in brackets I wanted to say, but didn't. Probably because of Knob Creek's induced morning-after indifference.]

Arnold, Obama, Gary Coleman, fucking Gray Davis - I don't care who does it, but somebody, please cut their funding.
My tuition goes up yearly either way right? At least pay for someone to implement a web site that can do the job of any administrative body on campus better than these carbon footprints.
And fuck it - let those hobo crackheads chasing me down for a quarter on my walk to campus from 4th and San Salvador live in the freed office space, I don't care.
Win win.