Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Cover all traces

Coming at you with mobility tonight.
Added 'BlogBooster' to the iPod touch and now we are testing...testing...do you read? I hope so. Otherwise you couldn't have read that.

Drove up to Groveland in this nasty rainy weather. I'd know the trip blindfolded though so the dark wet roads were a welcome break from bay traffic.
Arrived to find a plate of snickerdoodles on the counter, one of my favorite treats. Of course I heated up a few and enjoyed with a glass of Bushmills.
But what if the cookies are forbidden?
That's ok, they'd have to call CSI up here to solve the case:
BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

Monday, December 20, 2010

Angry Words With Zombies

Remember when you were young(er) and cell phones were large, goofy, unnecessary, and unowned by you? No?
Me neither. Because as it turned out, they got smaller, faster, cheaper, and better.
This is kind of how I feel about the iPod touch. Basically it's a handheld computer that does a lot of things really well. After about an hour, it reached that cell-phone-status of "how have I existed without this?"
One of the things it does particularly well is waste time play games like Angry Birds, Plants vs. Zombies, and Scrabble Words With Friends.
I haven't beaten the bird one, mostly because I don't go to the next level until I get 3 stars on the current level (if you don't know what that means, it's because you don't play it, but don't worry, we don't care, you can still be here).
The zombie one? Well, I thought I was doing quite well until la muñeca owned not only the iPod touch (temporarily), but also the zombies, with her plants. She brought the vegetation and put me in my place.
Now she has her own iPod touch though and I'll get back to that game eventually...

And the last one, Words With Friends, a Scrabble clone (except for some of the bonus tile positions on the board) is a favorite of mine.
I was never particularly good at Scrabble, and I'm still not, but I do okay.
The appeal of the game comes from asynchronous network play: it's your turn, you're notified, you play when you want, your opponent is notified, they play when they want, etc.
You can have multiple games going at once with different people and for each game there is a messaging system that allows you to chat/IM with your opponent.
So when you slap down that 'X' making two 'EX''s, both taking advantage of the triple word bonus you can rub it in with, "You just got owned by one tile. Suck it, EX-leader."

I play with my buddy Case. He is well read, older, smarter, studied language (or a derivative of language) in college, and rights a hole lot more and gooder than I does.
But...that doesn't mean he's necessarily better at Words With Friends...

This current game, I am trying something new...
Forget points, forget placement strategy, and forget about bonus tiles...
go for symmetry!
Photobucket

Insufficient tiles meant I broke symmetry at the latest play...but let's just say that part of the U.S.S. Enterprise got blown away by...Madhu-Romulans...or...something...

"But, dip shit!", you say, "Don't you put yourself at a disadvantage by sharing this image and the current tiles you hold?"
Yeah, maybe, but Case can use the confidence that comes from winning after the previous game:


I'm Tooly McDoosh saying:
Ewe don't half two no moor words then you're friend too win at this game.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Scoid Tank 121210

Zoidberg does a cartwheel.
Jester dines from snail shell.

Yeah, I'm time stamping now...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Yeah, here comes the rooster...

This is awesome.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Snow, Marine, and Tech

Aaaaaand, we're back.
But we're not just back, we're back with an iPod touch, new tank life, and a new snowboard.
"Money can't make you happy" is only right through a technicality: having money doesn't do much for you. Using money to buy awesome toys, that can make you plenty happy.
Just ask my friend Case and his CBR.

Peek the new tank life and the amazing Burton Custom Flying V Squeezebox (Limited Edition) Snowboard below, delivered through media captured by the iPod Touch...Synergy.


The board (as snapped from the Burton site) featured in video below:

After installing Cartel EST bindings:

Finally, final finale:


Apologies for the shaky and snow covered camera work, but The Black Keys smooth it out with The Only One.
Conditions were a bit less than ideal, the slushy sort of snow, but the new ride handled it admirably and a good time was had by all, just ask Alex:
"Moooo, whoo-oooooo. Moooo."
Mostly, that means "yes".

Friday, November 5, 2010

At least it's not another toll road...

Google maps gets you there...provided you have a Waverunner...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Biting toenails...frowned upon??

More layoffs over here at Actel Microsemi.
In preparation for the worst, I told my sister I might be looking for employment elsewhere.
She teaches at a high school for special education students and pioneered a program to get students out into the community, get a job, and learn other life skills.



She had some pointers:

I wanted to let you know that I do mock
interviews with my students monthly, as I am the one who hires them
for their outside jobs.
Here are a few tips that we work on:

  • Strong hand shake (please make sure your hands are clean)
  • DO NOT pick your nose, ears, or any scabs during the interview.
  • Please do not wear black slacks with white running shoes and white socks.
  • Make sure your clothes are not on inside out and/or backwards.
  • Brush your teeth.
  • Do not bite your nails, leave your shoes on, and under no circumstance begin biting your toenails.
  • Extra activities and or interests should not merely be "eating"
  • When the question is asked, "Where do you see yourself in the future?" An appropriate answer is NOT a "Professional Wrestler" (while looking at your bicep and kissing it)
Thankfully I was not laid off, so I have some time to perfect these skills.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloween...you monster.



Can't wait for Portal 2...
Thanks for the find, Case.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Holy large branching cranial appendages, Batman!

Quick! The Joker is getting away!
To the Bat...mo...deer?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I sniff my rose. Very good taste.

Wow...



...just...wow.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Oh yeeeaah?!???!??!

This was forwarded to me by Mike:


He probably thinks it's funny that a web app classifies me as a woman because most of my writing is "personal" and "happy most of the time". I'm okay with that.
Women are awesome. And most of the time I am happy.

I have my own pie chart for URLAI and it's based on this quote:
"The analysis is based upon 17 posts that has enough English words."



My chart is in 3d. Suck it, URLAI.


Thanks Google Charts.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Money in the Banksy (a followup)

You can read more about Banksy's work on an opening to The Simpsons as reported by the NY Times.
It's an interview with the producer.
I liked this:

Even compared to how “The Simpsons” has mocked Fox in the past, this seemed to push things to a different level. Are you sure there’s no one higher up than you on the corporate ladder who’s displeased with this?

I think that we should always be able to say the holes in our DVDs are poked by unhappy unicorns.

You can view the video in the last post on this subject (updated to HD).
Because...SD?...pshyah...don't even talk to me.

I am on a horse...cow...

That viral Old Spice campaign was pretty annoying. I shall not link to it for that reason.

I like this though.
Maybe I'm just immature. Maybe I like puppets. Maybe both.


Haha! The clam bit the monter's nose.

You are on my blog.

Now go to Casey's, he shared it.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Laughing all the way to the Banksy

Ironically, the creators of The Simpsons outsourced artwork for the show's introduction to street artist Banksy, who highlighted conditions often found in outsourced sweatshops...perhaps not unlike the one in South Korea where much of The Simpsons artwork is produced?



Love the the use of a captive unicorn to poke holes in the DVD discs.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Can I still keep my job?

So...I dip my Special K bar into my yogurt. There. I said it.
Don't act like you've never been curious.

It's just that today, I happened to do it before I remembered to unwrap it.
And the Vice President of Software Engineering happened to walk by my office and witness it.
An office door could have its advantages...

Oh well, at least I wasn't caught sniffing whiteboard markers like Tiberiu:

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Un pez con algunos bichos.

Came home and saw that my cleaner shrimp had molted again.
It seems to do this once or twice a month, but this time it looked like it somehow slipped out of there without even leaving a hole, just like a fart.
The hermit crab (Zoidberg) and the cleaner shrimp (Shrump) shed their skin to grow. In the wild as well as in my tank, they will leave the exoskeleton out in plain sight to distract predators while in their weakened state. Indeed when I dropped the frozen brine shrimp in there last night, old Shrumpy stayed back behind the rocks, out of sight, instead of rushing out all over the tank to snag up the food before the fish did.
I took some pictures. I had to last night because by this morning, I (correctly) figured that the exoskeleton would be gone, eaten by Shrump in the night.
Crabs and shrimp will sneak back out and ingest their old protection to acquire the nutrients they need to regenerate new protection (science is awesome!!).


Shrimp but no Shrump


Zoidberg investigating the matter


Will the real Shrump please...hang on to the rock


Magneto overpowering a shell


Rotated 90 along the Z


Wrasse is too fast to get a clear shot




Magneto, housed in a glass and plastic prison for our safety


Took some more if you're interested.


Not into reef tanks? Check out this awesome video from The Black Keys:

Friday, October 1, 2010

//I feel like my commentary is ignored by the compiler.

Thanks to Casey for this link.
It's a collection of some of the most memorable comments found in software code.
For those that don't know what that is, you can insert comments into your computer program by prepending your comment text with some predefined characters, such as "#" for shell scripting or "//" for C and Java programming languages.
Text that begins with such character strings will be ignored when your code is run or compiled into an executable.
Comments help future programmers who might need to maintain your work by either explaining what your code is supposed to do, assumptions you've made, why certain functions are necessary, temporary workarounds, etc.
For the programmers themselves, commenting also allows an outlet for some imagined social connection or pent up cynicism, creativity, and humor.

Like this:
//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 32
//


and this:
// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who
// will have to support me and our three children and the dog
// once it gets released into the public.


and also this:
doRun.run(); // ... "a doo run run".

and finally, my favorite, which I might use in my own work to prevent other engineers from changing my code in some misplaced fit of "I bet I can do this better...":
// The following is autogenerated, do not edit.
// All changes will be undone.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

If I'm the wide receiver, and you're the coach...who's Bill?



Educate yourself:
Never leave your microwave running unattended!
There might be a can of paint thinner in there.

How long does it take for a baby to freeze to death?
Twenty to thirty minutes.

If there are sparking live wires hanging down from panels in the ceiling, use your broom to shove them back up in there.

Now you, too, are Makin' it happen!

Monday, September 20, 2010

St. Brandi

You might remember my solicitation for Pepsi Refresh votes for my sister's school.
Well, she won the grant.
I had a chance to go down to San Diego on Labor Day weekend and see her classroom and some of her students.
If Ms. Bolter was not my sister, I'd still be saying that Sierra Academy and her students are very lucky to have her as a teacher.

This aired in San Diego:


Thanks to everyone that voted.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The local sting of irony

I consider myself a decent person. For the most part, at least.
However, I can't help taking pleasure when humans are put in their place and made to realize, when dealing with the environment, it's us against them.

Like Bruckner Chase, who decided to take swim across the Monterey Bay in an attempt to raise awareness about the fragility of the local marine environment.
He also raised awareness about his skin's susceptibility to jelly fish tentacles.

Chase was first stung about an hour into a swim that began in his hometown Santa Cruz before dawn. The jellies became more dense and the stings more frequent, so a determined Chase donned a wetsuit handed to him by those aboard an escort boat.

...
During the last mile, Chase felt them oozing through his hands with every stroke and realized "that had I not been in a wetsuit, I would not have been able to physically survive."



'Come on guys, I'm trying to help here'...people need to know...(oweeeee!)...how fragile...(fuck, that one hurt!)...the bay is...(dear god, get me out of this bay!)...you guys...(shit!)...need me...

Obviously, marine life is good for three things: watching in high definition with David Attenborough's narration, placing in a miniaturized ecosystem in your living room, and eating...with a basket of bottomless fries...

Photo from Monterey Bay Aquarium

Friday, August 20, 2010

For you, Mom

Mom is a big fan of Carrie Underwood.
Me? Not so much. I can get on board with this though:


The passion!
The defecation in the pants!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I, too, am ready for said weekend.

Babes and synth hacks, how can you go wrong?

Monday, August 2, 2010

What I did during mu (sic) weekend.

I got a new desk.
It's made by Studio RTA, producers of some excellent studio-friendly furniture.
It's very nice to have the computers, speakers, drum machine, mic preamps, synthesizer, etc. out and ready to be used when I'm inclined to make and record some noise.

4four highlights the recording debut of the new Taylor acoustic.

Also brought some technology to BF, find that below.
Thanks for the tips, SOSwitcher.

So now I have 2 (that you know of) songs that are half-assedly written and arranged.
A bunch of stupid people are always saying I never finish anythi

4four








3three








As an added bonus, I'll offer the American tradition of false democracy and you can tell me what to do for the next recording session (provided I'm not inclined to move on to 5five):

Which crappy song should Slobscot finish?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

World cup, foreign policy...it's all the same.


As long as the octopus doesn't pick Antarctica, we should be good.
Who the fuck wants to go to war in subzero temperatures?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Godzilla is...inside all of us!

Playstation Network delivered this weekend with a free download of Godzilla 2000 (made in 1999).

You can catch but a small glimpse of that awesomeness here:

Never mind that the guy that gets punched out looks like my best-friend-since-2nd-grade, Justin...I favor the Godzilla movies for epic quotes like this one:

"That's ironic. It woke up after 60 million years and then Godzilla destroyed it the very next day."
"Yeah."

Also, this one:
"We scientists produced this monster...Godzilla. And ever since, we tried to destroy him."
[Godzilla continues to trample through Shinjuku]
"But then, why...why does he keep protecting us?"
"Maybe because...Godzilla is inside each one of us!"

He certainly is, Yuji. He certainly is.
I've been to Shinjuku and trampled around just like he did...and scientists are always trying to destroy me too...so we have this connection...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Diana Falls near Yosemite. So do we.

Went up to the mountains in and east of Yosemite for some kayaking, (unintentional) hiking, waterfall jumping, and morons icing idiots to celebrate the long 4th of July weekend.

Took some Flip vids. Definitely not my best editing skills here, but you don't care because I used another Portugal. The Man track (Children).


That guy passed out with a half-consumed Smirnoff Ice there at the end?
Oh, that's Andrew.

The lady we ran into at "Little Diana Falls" told us that up the trail, there was a bigger jump, "Big Diana Falls", around 45 feet.
Though it turned out to be more like 30-35 feet, we took a glance, said, "no fucking way" and proceeded to splash our feet around in the water.
Then some crazy mountain people arrived, climbing to the top with their Budweiser in hand, and jumped off in their jorts.
We watched them and said, "No fucking way. Just because a crazy hillbilly does something doesn't make it smart. Plus, their hillbilly beards probably slow them down considerably while they're in the air."
Shortly after, families arrived. Kids and girls jumping off Big Diana. We watched this and said, "Well. Shit. Now we have to. Stupid kids."

Not shown in the video:
  • Awesome off roading
  • Fireworks
  • Live band at the longest continuously operated saloon
  • Me dominating the billiards and ping pong tables
  • Beavis & Butthead Do America screening
  • Consumption of the perfected long island iced tea recipe (tentatively named "Grove-island Iced Tea")
  • Bros icing bros and creating some truly awkward moments in the garage
The last item was caught on video and will be shared soon...

Listening to
Letlive - Fake History (don't click on that, you will not like it)
Tortoise

Watching
Breaking Bad

Playing
Red Dead Redemption

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Did you know?



So glad I live in America where milk doesn't come in bags.
Hell yes.
Let freedom ring.

On a related note:


Oh Salma.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

That will not remain singular!

I would like to have these in my car.


Thanks Casey for the image.

We need to duplicate this.

Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg...
Kinkos is my favorite copy center, if I had to pick one.
Cause they're open 24 hours, and that's great!
Like if it's 5 AM and I decide I need 2 of something... I'm covered!
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and go 'AAHH SHIT!! oh yeah... Kinkos! That will not remain singular!'

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Consume Excrement Cutesy Cat

Give the intellect a break.

Thanks Andrew for link.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Oh hell yes.

Get excited.



Also, this is pretty awesome:


Thanks Case.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Literal Win

The mind wanders.
Some bald dude at Chipotle today was wearing a beige shirt and khakis. He looked like a walking crash dummy. He was carrying a book, but I didn't catch the title.
Imagination and Photoshop took it from there.



I laughed. Maybe you didn't. Oh well. Can't please everyone.
At least I refreshed the Photoshop skills. Polygonal Lasso Tool for the win bitches!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Chevrolet Chase



GM abandons the comedic offerings of Chevy Chase.
Wait, what?
Girlfriend found another Google News failure.

Mr. Chase: Do you take drugs Google?
Google: Everyday.
Mr. Chase: Good. So what's the problem?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Reality > Analog > Samples

Last week I went to see Massive Attack live at The Warfield in San Francisco. I bought the pi soundtrack in high school and would listen to Angel by Massive Attack over and over until I picked up Mezzanine and became a huge fan.
This was the last of my short list of bands that I really wanted to see live and hadn't.
They delivered the music. It was an amazing show.


Shortly before the concert, my Heligoland record (Massive Attack's latest album) arrived from Amazon.
I had purchased their EP a while back in mp3 format, but there are certain bands and albums that I get excited about and prefer to own on vinyl.
I read an interesting article about vinyl sales being the final killing blow to CD purchases (old and not exactly prophetic, but still interesting).
In short, it points out that CD's are no longer the more portable medium. Those of us that still do purchase music, would prefer to download it to our mp3 players, or buy the album on vinyl (which always comes with a download code for the digital format these days) and enjoy the artwork and physical ownership.

Brother-in-law helping me move my vinyl collection last month: "You know they have these things called mp3's now. They are weightless."
Me: "..."

There are also those that argue vinyl sounds better than other audio formats, CD and mp3 included. I generally consider these people elitist middle-aged audiophiles that spend more time looking at audio on an oscilloscope than they do listening to it with their Blondie-concert-damaged ears. Some 47-year-old dudes chasing the way their records sounded way back when they had a full range of hearing? Not very compelling.

However, their argument is sound...HAHA!

Whether it's a track on some wax or the organization of rust on some strips of plastic, vinyl and tape are called analog audio because they are just that, analogous to reality.
So a digital delivery of audio, as a collection of discrete samples, can never attain the same fidelity of vinyl.

As a simplified example, imagine this was the signal of some audio over 4 minutes:

Now let's say you use a sample rate of once per minute (extremely low to illustrate the point, CD quality audio has a sample rate of 44,100 times per second), the delivery now looks something like this:

At this sampling rate, it becomes a square (instead of sine-ish) wave, and you lose quality.
Increasing the sampling rate will smooth out the square wave and more closely approximate the actual sounds, but we cannot have an infinite sample rate, so the analog audio will always be a more accurate representation of the sound.


Don't buy it?
Alright, try this...
I like the tactile and active process of listening to vinyl.
Sitting down with a glass of bourbon, getting up to flip the record over every 4 or so songs, without a fancy digital player visualizer bouncing around, is active listening and I enjoy it.
Opening iTunes on shuffle and leaving the room, forgetting you have it on is passive.
I do both, but when I have the time, I drop the needle of the Audio Technica PL-120 (thanks Dad!).





Check out Massive Attack's performance of Angel
(apologies for the clipped digital audio - they don't make a Flip camera that prints to vinyl yet):





Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ms. Bolter

My sister teaches at a school for kids with disabilities and special needs down in San Diego.
She has put together a proposal to obtain a grant from Pepsi, awarded to good ideas.
In short, she has pioneered a program that teaches kids life skills. Working with the community, she gets part time jobs for her students, opens checking accounts and teaches them how to budget expenses, teaches them how to cook, as well as other general tasks to transition them from school to their community, working math and writing lessons into these activities.
In the month of May, I watched her idea's ranking jump from 273rd to as high as 43rd.
Please, please, please vote for this idea here:
http://www.refresheverything.com/sierralifeskills

Ms. Bolter wanted to be a teacher since she was in grade school. These kids are so very lucky that she did. They love her and the program so much and it's awesome hearing stories about her students. It's a great cause and voting is very simple, all you need is an e-mail address (but nothing will be sent to this address and it is not shared) or you can log in with a facebook account.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Plus the video

Saw these guys in SF last night. Good show.



Wondergirl points out that they use Piet Mondrian's art style.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Art fix! Get your art fix here! Minimal effort!

Alexa Meade is a Washington D.C. based artist. She's into acrylic...namely acrylic on humans, making them look like a painting walking through reality.
Probably much more amazing to see in person, but the photos are also pretty cool.

Best contrast.


Note the installation's border on right...


The models move.


And my favorite:



Got the link from my buddy Matt Taylor, a photographer-turned-painter.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A little off balance


My amended diagram for happy, healthy living.
I did however go and climb the rock wall. I raced Tibby. I won. It was close. But he was also on the easy wall...so...

In closing, holy shit!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Now that's news.


The girlfriend likes to check the news in the morning. She noticed the odd mismatch of headline, body, and image.
It's obscure, but I don't think it's an error, just deep reporting:
The estrogenous Redwing team was stabbed by the Sharks being right on Target, causing them to loose custody of the child that is victory in a hockey game.
No?
Alright, maybe a mistake at the capital 'G' house.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Masamazing


Grandma Quintero's gorditas = muy delicioso.
Add some homemade salsa or, if that's not around, some Taco Bell sauce and you've got a great snack.
I say "you", but I really mean "me". Because you don't know Grandma Quintero, I do.
Ha
-ha.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The more you know...



...the more you can stop annoying me.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Today I:

My friend Casey works remotely but comes up once a month ish.
We have to pack up our office and move to the other building next month.
Yeah, he has juggling equipment.


I found the sheet music for Entry of the Gladiators by Julius Fučík (bet you didn't know the composer or title of "that circus song" before reading this), but I transposed it down a bit so I could play it on the glockenspiel a little easier. The pretty señorita got that for me last year.
The other sounds are from the awesome microKORG.

This started out as something funny to do for an hour on the weekend. Something to distract, play with half-step silliness on guitar...

Did I take it too far?
Yes. Yes, I did.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Happi Basude


Tiberiu (To-bury-you) is in Costa Rica. Today is his Birthday.
Happy birthday Tiberiu-in-Costa-Rica.

Bugzillaaaaaah!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Stay awhile

I like this band. And this player.











Also, Canadians are so desperate creepy.
Alex...weren't you in the Canadian army?
Didn't you date a teenager and ride a motorcycle?
Serial.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Summer Salt



ICAM class from UCSD produced this.
I don't remember which one...Photoshop 101 or something.
Not recorded. Each frame was a separate shot.
You are so into it.
I never ate shrooms.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Someone else

Today sucks. For so many reasons.

Look:


Even Whitney Houston can be outsourced. He's even cuter.

Friday, April 2, 2010

cap·size [ˈkæpsaɪz, kæpˈsaɪz] [kap-sahyz, kap-sahyz] - to turn bottom up; overturn

You may have seen this already. I'm always late to the funny.
But so what? Late funny is still funny.


Around 1:17

Probably a joke/metaphor, but the dry humor delivery and hand motion coupled with the reaction from Admiral guy is greatness.
And the slow fumbled effort to describe the dimensions of the island does not help your case for drug free.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Get more tone deaf

More appealing than Rocket Skates...but I still champion White Pony over anything I've heard so far...



I'll still get it. Even if I won't like it for long.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Carrots, cheese, peppered salami, and whiskey.



Gorgeous outside. Mujer got delayed so I had time to walk to the grocer and pick up some cravings and vices.
Maybe I was too engulfed in imagining how some girl's gold high heels could have both ended up in my apartment complex's pond, or maybe this guy used to be a spy, but on the walk back I didn't hear the Indian gentleman on the bicycle right behind me.
This guy had everything: the blinking light, the water bottle, foot straps, helmet, those crazy antenna looking mirrors that look like what a giant dentist uses on his giant clients...

"Oops, sorry about that. Excuse me." I let him pass.
"Nooo problem, sir."
"You need a bell."
Looking down at the bell on his left handle bar:
"I am needing to be using the bell. I think that is our issue here."

Wisdom.
People - use your bells.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Because of the koi pond


ender9284 just had to pretend that wasn't a burst of laughter coming from his office upon reading "because of the koi pond" and it was actually that he choked while drinking his water...I doubt anyone surrounding my office bought it...

Poor Case, inherited the bills of his housemate's koi pond.
Now the finances are completely koied up!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

SJFU

Disclaimer: no photos. No (HD) videos. No links. Just me. Being pissed. I dare you to finish it.

A lot of people question their purpose in life. When those questions return "useless", "invalid", or something along the lines of "are you fucking kidding me?", they might be inclined to consider reevaluating their occupation, pass times, hobbies, addictions, or general consumption of oxygen.
That is, unless they are part of the SJSU administrative staff.

I might be taking advantage of my employer's willingness to purchase an M.S. degree for me, but at least I do so with a clean conscience.
I am getting a piece of paper and they're getting an employee with increased knowledge, skills, and some drive...allegedly.
In reality, I picked the campus that would send me a bill within Actel's yearly reimbursement limit.
I was nudged to go somewhere with more prestige, endorsed by a couple awesome faculty members at UCSD, but I really just wanted to make some money and step away from academia for a CA minute (
oooh-ooh-oooooooh, everything won't change).
SJSU and Actel fit the bill.
If I get an
A or B, tuition is 100% reimbursed.
A
C, 50%.
A
D, nothing percent - and I can only imagine, a bump up the "Who can we afford to lay off this quarter?" list.
So alright, I go to class some nights, I might leave work a bit early, but as anyone who has ever had to work from home knows, you tend to put in more than enough hours from the desk in your bedroom to counter leaving early to head to class.
In short, I have no problem with this arrangement, nor should Actel.

How can the SJSU staff cash their paychecks with a similar peace of mind when their unofficial motto is "Yes, we
are incompetent. But we are training California's workforce to be pro-active, attentive, and distrusting of all others they might have to rely on...so we're still doing our job."?
I went to orientation for the College of Science and had some obese curly-haired cat in a Che Guevara T-shirt explain to me that they would without a doubt send me to the wrong corner of campus, only to be sent back, then told I need to speak to someone in another department who would without hesitation roll their eyes at me and tell me to print out a different form, sign it, and sprinkle pixie dust on it before anyone would even consider telling me to bring it to the people that actually use it...on the other side of campus.
I chuckled at orientation, thinking they're just covering their own asses for kids that are too dumb to read instructions.
Nope.

I am so sorry, but I am not able to locate your graduation application anywhere at this point. Unfortunately, it will be necessary for you to submit a new application.

Again, I am so sorry that I am not able to locate your application Scott. I will do everything I can to support you in the process, but it is imperative that you get the application in as soon as possible. It is not necessary for you to meet with an advisor again.

So - this doesn't really matter much. I'm not planning to walk. Getting my B.S. in C.S. is just a necessary step for obtaining the M.S.
If my B.S. piece of paper is delayed, who really cares?
I'm just doing this to make more money, which conveniently occupies those years I'd already be spending at a company to get experience and thus...make more money.
I printed out what was necessary and brought it over to campus.
This exchange, however, stung:

"Hi Scott. Thanks so much for bringing in this form promptly."
"No problem. I guess it's only fair that I come to the student service center more than once while paying for its existence." (The first time being the glamor photo shoot for my ID card, allowing me to return a book.)

"Well, I'm sorry we have to go through this process again. When did you turn in the form and go over your academic career before?"

"Last semester, with Hyang, Hyun, or Hyawn? Sorry, I don't remember his name, he seemed helpful though."

"Oh, with Hwon, last semester. That was before we started tracking these things."

"I'm sorry, isn't your department's entire charter to track 'these things'? [It's a bit disconcerting that tracking paperwork was beyond your stretch of competence until just last semester, Fall of 2009...]"


[Those words in brackets I wanted to say, but didn't. Probably because of Knob Creek's induced morning-after indifference.]

Arnold, Obama, Gary Coleman, fucking
Gray Davis - I don't care who does it, but somebody, please cut their funding.
My tuition goes up yearly either way right? At least pay for someone to implement a web site that can do the job of any administrative body on campus better than these carbon footprints.
And fuck it - let those hobo crackheads chasing me down for a quarter on my walk to campus from 4th and San Salvador live in the freed office space, I don't care.
Win win.

Friday, March 19, 2010

How could they let this happen?



Software and Systems Integration (Alan and I) just completely owned, berged, pwned, dominated, etc. Andrew and Alex (pictured) at after lunch ping pong.
It was ugly messy.
The sushi at lunch tasted good.
The victory right after tasted better.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Collin O'McMicannery




At the risk of violating ITAR guidelines, I'm going to share an e-mail exchange with someone from Actel's office in Ireland...

======================================================
Hi,
I've uploaded the files to our web repository but I think I was given the wrong version of the repo control file. Please have a look.
Scott
======================================================

Hi Scott – my mistake. I knew that I was going to make one as I was under the weather (head cold – not pre St. Patrick’s Day drinking) while preparing this update. I copied over the wrong tagged version of the files. I’ve copied the correct files over to the share now so if you can try again you should now see the correct version. Thanks for spotting this!

Cheers
XXXXXX

======================================================

No prob. Hope you feel better - perhaps a pre St. Patty’s whiskey will help to kill the germs and let you sleep better!

======================================================

Who is St. Patty? Patron saint of hamburgers? We call “our” saint St. Paddy. =)

I’ll forego the whiskey and stick to the Guinness but I’m not sure that it cures colds. =)

Cheers
XXXXXX

======================================================

Ahhhh…St. Paddy! I’m a disgrace to my Great Grandma McGee…

Thanks, I will remember that. Enjoy the stout.

======================================================

So get your potatoes, throw on some U2 Dae Kim*, pour some Bushmills Jameson Powers whiskey, get out your Frank McCourt James Joyce, and let that consciousness stream.
Happy Hamburger Saint Day!

*I don't like U2. Here's some bleak Irish rock instead.
I think the Amurcans call it "shoe gazer" rock...